to be able to teleport

My second wish that i chose for the event line thinking group was to be able to teleport.I have always wanted to see the world. to see all the great mysteries the earth has to offer. to be in one part of the world on one moment and at a different part at the next moment. I have only been in the united states and i know there is so much more out there. I know i would have a great and true understanding on how the world truly was.to know the different kinds of people and the different ways they lived there lives. the power of being every where at once would allow me to do whatever i wanted and not be restricted like the rest of the human race was. another reason is that i would never have to be some where i didn't want to be. to be able to leave at any time and not have to be places that made me unhappy. to always know i could always run away if i didn't like being where i was. my life so far has been ful of places that i didn't want to be. like being across the country wile my mom was dieing and i could not do anything to save her. to be helpless. not being able to be the strong man i needed to be for my mom. Only if i could of been there when she needed me the most. I wish i could of been therefor her the instant she needed me the most. also like being in a rehab with nowhere to go and no way to get the where ever i could go. to feel powerless and have no control over what and where i wanted to be. or when ever i was sad or lonely i could go to the places where i felt happy and at home like Portland Oregon. to never have to fell sad or angry ever again. i would be able to make and have as much money as i need and never worry about not having the things i wanted. I could always be with the people i loved even if they were a thousand miles apart. I also could help or rescue the people i cared about they would never have to be alone. I could be where ever i was happy. to live in the moment and not have to worry about how i will live tomorrow. where I'll go or who i wanted to be would be at my disposal with out working myself to the bone to get there. wouldn't it be nice if that were true. that is why being able to Telaport would be the greatest.

controling the elements

yesturday i had to share my fantacy wishes in the event line thinking group. and im starting to realize how close to my heart those wishes were. my first wish was that i wanted to control the elements. i think one of the reasons i wish this so much because i have a larg facination with the natural world and why things are the way they are and if i new how to control the elements then i would have a great understanding on how the world worked and then i could posibly do something to change the filth and decay that are race has inflicted on our wonderful world. to find a way to change our race to live a different way. in out of all the mysteries in the world we have found the least healthy way to live with the enviorment. I would invent a healthy and natural way to give energy to our way of life. also with that kind of power of the elements i could intervene with the fighting nations and convince or force them to find peace. to show them to not use natural resources and a better way to live in peace. I could also solve world hunger by being able to grow food at a unatural rate so i could take a lot of the worlds suffering away. before i got hevily into drugs i cared so much about the people around me. and i wanted to do whatever i could to help them. i always wanted to be the one people came to for help when they were in the trouble. to be the hero that people needed. and i lost all that when i only cared about myself and what drug i was going to do next. but now that i have a little bit of time sober i've started to realize is thats what i wanted when I was younger and i lost that along the way. I also would love to have that kind of power that no one else had. to be the most powerful and the most loved and feared. to convince the people to love and care for each other instead of hate and killing. to be the difference between life and death. I also would be able to feel the pain of the earth cause i could completely understand it's mysteries. To bring it back to the way it was before the human race took control of the world.Then we would not have to worry about global warming and natural disasters that might destroy all that we have worked so hard to build. even though we are full of hate and violence. we have the capacity to love and care more than any living thing. But we waste it on our selfish desires and i feal that its going to be our demise. thats why i would want to control the elements. to change our races biggest problems.

learning to cope

To day i just started my meds and I'm surprised how well it is working for me. I have already done most of the things on my list today. my list is the following

• clean room-make bed
• do laundry
• Blog/journal/and start a live journal
• work out
• finish writing a letter to mt grandmother
• do the dishes in the dishwasher

I am excited about this new blog and im hoping to do it every day. I wanted to talk about my assignment at the event line meeting with Trever. I was asigned to think of three wishes that i would make if there was such a thing as a genie. they were

• control to elements
• telaport anywhere in the world
• speak with the dead

I will blog what Trevor and i talk about why i chose these and what it means when I talk to him on thursday.